There is much to be appreciated in a man who sympathizes and understands the plight of women, and Tyler Perry seems to do this with his movies. Not only this, but he does a commendable job at exposing the kinds of traumas that many women experienced firsthand or have witnessed in some form or fashion. Traumas that are usually not openly spoken of or swept under the rug; traumas that plague many women and their choices, for most if not all, their entire lives. However, with that said, the problem is that in his movies, the answer or reward for a woman who has been through all sorts of hell in varying degrees is finding a perfect, sensitive, and gorgeous man who sweeps her off her feet.
I know it's entertainment, but as a woman myself, I know it's easy to get caught up in these knight in shining armor depiction of men. And I don't think it's right or fair that Tyler Perry uses some very sensitive issues pertaining to the experience of being a woman and then resort to these cliché and unrealistic endings and resolutions.
His Armor Is Not That Shinny
In "I Can Do Bad By Myself," April, played by Taraji P. Henderson, who is incredibly selfish, finds a man who is willing to teach her what love is really all about. In "Diary of A Mad Black Woman," Kimberly Elise's character, Helen, just so happens to meet a wonderfully sensitive man just as her long term marriage of abuse and neglect appears to be coming to an end. And let's not forget Vanessa, played by Lisa Anderson in "Madea's Family Reunion," that meets a man who actually says to her that "some men come to restore." However, in reality, relationships might play out more like Kimberly's marriage in Madea's Big Happy Family, but with the man actually leaving in the end because women like her won't face their issues.
I am all for the suggestion that there are better men out there than what most of us women run into regularly. One that is not petrified of love, commitment, or marriage and somewhat understands what a woman needs. The kind of man that, although he is far from perfect, takes the time to make sure his wife feels and is loved by him. But let's not lie to ourselves about what having a man like this really means. For one, he probably won't be gorgeous, and second, he can never be perfect. He will indeed have his own problems and baggage to deal with and won't always have the time, knowledge, intuition, or patience to sweep down and save us from our own.
Stephanie K. was born and raised in Chicago, IL. She has a bachelor’s degree in Liberal Arts and Sciences from University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC) and various coaching certifications. (read more)
Got questions about Christianity, God, or his role in your life?
Could you use a spiritual perspective on a problem or your relationship issues?
Send me your questions and get a free 15 min call to talk it over. I'll be happy to help you see things in a different light.
Are you in need of valuable Biblical insight & guidance concerning your life, relationships, or obstacles?
Sign-up for a free coaching session & get started finding the encouragement and direction you need to start a new path.
Do you have a story to tell?
I want to hear it!
Send me your stories about how your relationship with God or growing spiritually has transformed your life. With all the bad stories we hear on a daily basis, let's make it our mission to share some good ones!