Why I Lost My Taste For Tyler Perry Movies.

​     ​There is much to be appreciated in a man who sympathizes and understands the plight of women, and Tyler Perry seems to do this with his movies. Not only this, but he does a commendable job at exposing the kinds of traumas that many women experienced firsthand or have witnessed in some form or fashion. Traumas that are usually not openly spoken of or swept under the rug; traumas that plague many women and their choices, for most if not all, their entire lives. However, with that said, the problem is that in his movies, the answer or reward for a woman who has been through all sorts of hell in varying degrees is finding a perfect, sensitive, and gorgeous man who sweeps her off her feet.
      I know it's entertainment, but as a woman myself, I know it's easy to get caught up in these knight in shining armor depiction of men. And I don't think it's right or fair that Tyler Perry uses some very sensitive issues pertaining to the experience of being a woman and then resort to these cliché and unrealistic endings and resolutions.
​

His Armor Is Not That Shinny

 In "I Can Do Bad By Myself," April, played by Taraji P. Henderson, who is incredibly selfish, finds a man who is willing to teach her what love is really all about. In "Diary of A Mad Black Woman," Kimberly Elise's character, Helen, just so happens to meet a wonderfully sensitive man just as her long term marriage of abuse and neglect appears to be coming to an end. And let's not forget Vanessa, played by Lisa Anderson in "Madea's Family Reunion," that meets a man who actually says to her that "some men come to restore." However, in reality, relationships might play out more like Kimberly's marriage in Madea's Big Happy Family, but with the man actually leaving in the end because women like her won't face their issues.
​
     I am all for the suggestion that there are better men out there than what most of us women run into regularly. One that is not petrified of love, commitment, or marriage and somewhat understands what a woman needs. The kind of man that, although he is far from perfect, takes the time to make sure his wife feels and is loved by him. But let's not lie to ourselves about what having a man like this really means. For one, he probably won't be gorgeous, and second, he can never be perfect. He will indeed have his own problems and baggage to deal with and won't always have the time, knowledge, intuition, or patience to sweep down and save us from our own.  ​

No Man Comes To Restore​

      The truth is, ladies, that we have to stop looking, expecting, and thinking that a man will come and save the day for us or love us so hard and so long that it heals us from all of our brokenness. We have to let go of the belief that if a man really loves us, he will happily endure all the hell we give him and come out being Mr. Wonderful in the end. Quite frankly, putting that kind of pressure and expectation on a man is enough to ruin a relationship all by itself. No man comes to restore. Only God can do that, and if he chooses to use a man to help that process along, that does not negate our responsibility of facing and resolving our own issues. Neither does it change the fact that our help comes from God and not a man.

    Keep in mind that the same man that might help you through a hard time can turn right around and give you hell right back. But if you are so invested in his role as the "restorer" in your life, you will fall to pieces when he is not behaving that way. That's why it's best to depend on God and let him help us straightened out our issues first so that when the right man does come along, we can keep his role in our lives in perspective. This will help us recognize the value of his imperfect support and be strong enough to offer him support him too.  ​
   

Don't Chase A Fantasy

This is why I have become less fond of Tyler Perry's movies over the years. I also don't particularly appreciate how he half-heartedly incorporates and mixes scripture in his characters and plot, even making jokes about them, without displaying the supernatural power that those scriptures imply and even promises. In a nutshell, I think as women, we must be cautious about the things we allow our brains to feed on, even entertainment, lest we spend our lives and time chasing a fantasy of love and not the real thing. ​​