Girl sitting in a window looking at a street light
Connect with your Creator Vlog Link
Have you ever wanted to connect with God but felt unsure of where to begin? Have you ever struggled with questions about faith, religion, or the Bible? Perhaps you have experienced hurt in a church and found yourself questioning your relationship with God because of others' actions. I want to share something personal with you: You don't need all the answers before you start building a relationship with your Creator. Sometimes, the journey begins with a simple desire to know Him.
My First Encounter with God
Recently, while participating in a women's group at my church, I was asked to reflect on my history with God and how I first connected with Him. That conversation brought me back to an experience from when I was about 14. At that time, I was struggling. My home life was difficult, and I was deeply unhappy. I had reached a point where I no longer wanted to live. Surprisingly, even at my wits' end, I thought to explore every possible option before giving up on life. One of those options was God.
I had never read the Bible, and although I knew who Jesus was, I didn't have a personal relationship with Him. Nevertheless, I decided that if God was real, I needed to talk to Him. I needed answers as to why my life was the way it was and whether things could ever be different. If He couldn’t give me those answers, I thought it somehow gave me permission to call it quits.
With all this in mind, I began sitting by a window in the front part of my home and talking to God. I cried, told him my deepest fears, insecurities, and struggles. I even told him who I wish I could be. I also told him that if He answered my questions honestly, I would accept it no matter how hard it was. After days of doing this and not getting a response, even though it felt good to express these things. I started asking God for proof that he was there and listening, and decided to use a streetlight across the road as a focal point for this proof. I asked him to make the light flicker, even just a little, and at times I actually thought it did. I stared at the light for hours, becoming disappointed as I drifted off to sleep.
The following day, something happened that I still struggle to put into words. I cried almost the entire day. I couldn't fully explain what I was feeling, but I remember telling my mother that it felt as though I were crying over every bad thing I had ever done. Looking back now, I understand that experience through my faith as an encounter with the Holy Spirit, although I still cannot fully explain everything that happened within me. Nevertheless, that experience made me want to keep seeking God, and that has been an over 20-year journey; that’s how my relationship with God began. I wasn't approaching God with a deep understanding of Scripture or religion. I was simply a desperate young girl with questions, pain, and a desire to know whether someone was listening.
Learning to Recognize God's Presence
I continued talking to God and asking questions. I wanted answers, and I made one thing clear: if He showed me the truth, I was willing to accept it. I was open, vulnerable, and searching.
As I continued seeking Him, I began noticing that people would sometimes say things that addressed questions I had recently asked God. This happened often enough that I began to understand these experiences were not a coincidence. I also started to recognize a sense of peace and love in my spirit. Over time, I became familiar with what I understood to be God's presence. From there, my relationship with Him grew. Eventually, I began going to church and reading the Bible. I started learning more about Jesus, faith, and what it meant to live according to God's direction. But something important had already happened before I entered a church or opened a Bible: I had begun developing a personal relationship with my Creator. That foundation became especially important later in my life.
Don't Confuse God with People's Actions
As I became involved in church, I encountered experiences that hurt me. At times, people within the church did not act in ways that reflected the love and spirit I had come to associate with God. Those experiences were painful, but they did not cause me to abandon my faith.
Why?
Because I had already begun developing my own relationship with God. I understood that people and God were not the same.
People can disappoint us. They can misunderstand us, mistreat us, or fail to live according to the very principles they teach. Unfortunately, those experiences can cause people to question their faith or walk away from God altogether. But I learned to distinguish between people's actions and my relationship with my Creator.
I'm not suggesting that you should ignore harmful behavior or remain in an unhealthy church environment. Rather, I want to encourage you not to let someone else's actions define your understanding of God. A painful experience with someone doesn't have to become the foundation of your relationship with God. Seek Him for yourself. Learn to recognize His character and let your relationship with Him develop.
You Don't Have to Have Every Answer
I often hear people express confusion about the Bible, religion, and which beliefs they should follow. These questions can be difficult, and I understand why people want answers. However, I believe we can sometimes become so focused on finding the right answers that we overlook the importance of developing a relationship with our Creator. Think about it: the universe is complex. The human body is incredibly complex, and even after centuries of study, we still discover things we don't fully understand. Why, then, would we expect to understand everything about God, ourselves, and life immediately? Learning is a process. Spiritual growth is a process, too.
You will not reach a point where you know everything about yourself, other people, or the world around you. You will keep learning, questioning, making mistakes, and discovering new things. The goal isn't to accumulate knowledge simply for the sake of knowing more. Knowledge can be part of the journey, but so can learning to trust God, recognizing where you need to grow, and letting Him guide you through life's challenges. You can be new to faith. You can have questions. You can struggle with doubt. You may even find yourself trying to reconnect with God after a period of feeling distant. You don't have to pretend to be further along in your spiritual journey than you are.
Start where you are.
Seek the Connection, Not Just the Answers
When I began seeking God as a teenager, I didn't have a religious checklist. I wasn't trying to prove I knew enough Scripture or had everything together. I simply wanted to know whether He was real and whether I could connect with Him. What followed has grounded my faith over the years like nothing else. Especially amid so much confusion, lies, and deceit in the world today.
I believe we sometimes place unnecessary conditions on our relationship with God. We may think we have to understand the Bible first, correct every mistake in our lives, or become the kind of person we think God expects before we can approach Him. We feel like everything about a religion has to make sense to us and that it is up to us to sift through century-old lies to figure out the truth. But what if we started by honestly seeking Him in our hearts? What if we set aside opinions, books, pastors, churches, and even our own desires in some cases, and just talked openly with our Creator? What if we set aside the pressure to have everything figured out or the fear of being wrong?
My advice, and it always will be, is to take time to talk to God. Be honest about your feelings, struggles, doubts, and desires. Ask your questions. Tell Him what you don't understand and just be real. Then be open to the possibility that His response may not come the way or when you expect.
When I was 14, I wanted a streetlight to flicker. I thought that would settle my questions. When it didn't happen, I was disappointed. Yet my journey didn't end there. I kept seeking.
Sometimes, the connection we seek may not come in the form we imagined. Part of spiritual growth is learning to remain open as we seek God, rather than deciding in advance exactly how He must respond.
Let Your Relationship with God Shape Your Growth
Another important lesson I've learned is that spiritual growth is not simply about trying to be good enough to avoid feeling guilty. My understanding of what it meant to live rightly developed as my relationship with God grew. I began to see that faith was about more than following rules or meeting expectations. It was about knowing God and letting that relationship shape the person I was becoming.
We all have areas in which we need to grow. We all have things to learn, habits to reconsider, and attitudes that may need to change. But genuine transformation is not about pretending to be perfect before approaching God. It is about being willing to grow as you develop that relationship. Instead of focusing on everything you believe you need to fix before you can seek God, make the connection your starting point.
Let your desire to know Him guide your willingness to learn, change, and grow.
Are You Willing to Seek Your Creator?
We pursue what matters to us. When we truly want something, we invest time, money, and effort into finding it. We will even make risky sacrifices. So I want to ask you: Do you want to know your Creator well enough to keep seeking Him, even when you don't immediately understand the answers? Are you willing to pray when you feel uncertain? To ask questions when you are confused? To continue learning when your understanding is incomplete? You don't have to resolve every doubt before taking the next step. And remember that the journey is ongoing. You'll understand things today that you didn't understand yesterday, and you'll learn new things tomorrow.
Give yourself room to grow. And give God room to grow you.
Final Thoughts: Let's Connect with Our Creator
Don't let confusion, fear, disappointment, or other people's actions keep you from seeking God and the truth. You don't have to know everything. You don't have to have every question answered. You don't have to pretend that you have it all together. Start with the desire to know Him, and remain willing to learn as you go. Silence the noise that keeps you distracted from that pursuit. Make room for reflection, prayer, and an honest conversation with God. Your spiritual journey doesn't have to begin with having all the answers. It can begin with one sincere question: “Creator, I want to know You. Will You guide me?”
Let's connect with our Creator.
Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your thoughts.
What has your journey with God been like, and what have you learned along the way?
Stephanie K. a.k.a. Sage the Coach
Unveiling the Spirit
