God why, oh why, have you made me a slave
for the heart of a man-it’s like digging my grave.
In the beginning you made the heavens and earth,
formed me from his rib after shaping the dirt.
I belong by his side it’s what I feel in my soul,
but I reach out for him and he doesn't grab hold.
I cry and I try to be what he needs.
I fix myself pretty to the point that I bleed.
I fight and I push to the front of the line.
I've slept in a pen with what turned out to be swine.
I give myself fully but it’s never enough.
Why create us for each other,
but then make it so tough?
They all say to wait and pray through my tears,
but the way that you answer is to make me wait years.
I've tried to let go and be fine on my own,
but the silence of singleness is as loud as trombones.
I toss and I turn, and I ache and I shake
and before you know it -my heart is seeking for mates.
Is there something wrong with wanting his love,
or longing for the garden where we fit like a glove?
About back then, you know that I was deceived.
If I knew then, what I know now
I would've believed.
But now I’m thirsty and
dying for something to drink.
Isn't a vessel that's empty much easier to break.
How can I find heaven in this kind of state?
This is the reason for all those mistakes.
Please don’t ignore me for one more day.
Deliver me his heart before it’s too late.
“Please stop all your crying, I didn't do this to you.
Some parts are a punishment so to that -this is true.
But back in the garden it was for you to see,
that close love you both shared can’t exist without me.
Please stop with your pleading
these are your own mistakes.
Instead of excuses grab hold of your fate.
Please stop with the blaming,
you’ll see you're still deceived.
All that begging and chasing does not come from me.
It’s not what I wanted. It’s not what I did.
Do you really think I wanted you sleeping with pigs?
I have made you wait –yes this too is true,
I was trying to prepare you, but you just withdrew.
All that tossing and turning was denying and defying.
The same way you look in the mirror
and so easily start lying.
All that aching and shaking was the fight of temptation,
that all must endure once it’s been awakened.
Love is great and marriage is bliss,
but you won’t survive its obstacles
if you can’t conquer this.
You must guard your heart from being played like a toy,
and not by a man but the one that destroys.
He shakes your emotions then rattles your mind,
alters your perception and makes you waste time.
I've been waiting for you to get fed up and break free,
to stop searching for man and instead search for me.
To dig deep, then deeper, so you will find,
that the love that you long for is not his but mine.
But mine is not about just feeling good,
but reclaiming your throne of divine womanhood.”